


Be Happy (Because I’m Your Friend)

by Finnao



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Spinel Stays on Earth, Steven comforts Spinel, dude I’m only capable of writing sad Spinel, idk if this counts as a relationship but im putting it anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-16 22:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20610620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnao/pseuds/Finnao
Summary: Spinel stared at herself in the mirror. How she looked so broken, so sad, so tired...





	Be Happy (Because I’m Your Friend)

**Author's Note:**

> everybody say thank you to my brain for coming up with an idea after six thousand years ;)

Night. That’s when it was the quietest. There wasn’t anyone talking; not even a whisper. No footsteps outside. No cars zooming down the streets. Nothingness. 

Spinel hated the silence at night. Actually, she despised it. Hearing nothing for six thousand years did something to her mind. She constantly needs to hear noise. Anything, anyone. Someone talking, a faint giggle, the ding of the Big Donut bell. She didn’t care. She just needed sound. 

It was every night where Spinel went to the top of the mountain to the same hill where she’d set down her injector, reminding herself of what she did to Steven’s beautiful home: Earth. 

To avoid silence, she’d sing. Sometimes they weren’t even real songs. Just some mindless melodies. Other times, they were tunes Spinel had heard Steven humming to himself. 

Everyone around her was so energetic, so happy. There were smiles at every corner. But when their eyes come across the sad sight of Spinel, their grins would fade completely. Then they looked away, like they were ashamed of her. 

Spinel convinced herself she deserves to be ignored, cast out, left alone. She did try to kill everyone and everything on Earth. Steven told her otherwise. He believed everyone should be treated equally. 

It was only at night and in the beach house where she could wander without anyone staring at her strangely. She found that she liked to climb on top of the lighthouse at the tippy-top of the hill. That’s what she was doing tonight. Standing there or even laying there, not a care in the universe. Just being so high up above the world was euphoric. Breathing in copious amounts of fresh air before exhaling were the kind of small sounds that her ears desired. 

She liked loud noises too; like laughter. Hearing Steven’s laugh—or anyone’s—was  _ everything  _ to Spinel. There was only one problem:  _ It wasn’t Pink’s laughter _ . It was never the same. 

Every time Steven laughed or even giggled, the boy would place his palms, or just one hand, where his gem is. Spinel had figured this out whenever someone else made him let out a chuckle. His cheeks would turn a rosy pink—a slight blush—and Spinel imagined Pink in his spot  _ so  _ many times. How it should be her Diamond instead of him. How she should be the ruler of Earth, not him. He  _ ruined  _ everything. 

_ No. _ No, he didn’t. 

She stood up abruptly uptop the lighthouse, her shoes letting out that stupid, playful squeak that they always do. Spinel clenched her teeth in frustration, a growl escaping her lips. She intertwined her fingers and hands, gaining a larger fist and prepared to slam it down on top of the lighthouse. 

She let out a few angry, heavy breaths before sinking to her knees, her hands losing their size and becoming limp and stretched, same with her legs. A tear escaped before she could wipe it away. 

She sniffled once before humming quietly to herself to pass the night, waiting for the sun to shine again. 

Finding herself feeling a tad better, she sprang herself up before landing on the soles of her boots, a small noise erupting from them. The grass greeted her as night soon began to fade and the sun rose. 

Spinel liked that sight. The Earth, divided between light and darkness. But just for a few moments. Then one or the other takes over. 

When Spinel walked inside the beach house, it was silent and empty. Fiddling with her fingers and muttering words to herself, she made her way to the bathroom. Steven told her what this bathroom was for. Though he didn’t mention the other furniture in the bathroom. He said it was reserved for humans. 

_ “If you ever need, y’know, uh, space, this is the place to go! No one will bother you in here. Unless you want them to? Uh, n-nevermind. Just, uhm, remember you can talk to me about anything and it-it doesn’t matter if I’m sleeping. You can come to me for anything. Anything at all. I won’t ever leave you alone, Spinel.” _

Steven reminded her that whenever he’s not by her side, she’s not alone. She’s just giving herself some space. 

Closing the door behind her—but leaving just a small crack in the doorway—she sighed and stared at herself in the mirror. How she looked so broken, so sad, so tired. Messy hair, black lines flowing from her eyes, and even dark bags began to form beneath her eyelids. 

The outfit that stayed with her for thousands of years looked dirty and old.  _ I guess this is why they don’t like me. I’m hideous. I’m a monster… _

Spinel aggressively grabbed her pigtails and pulled, a rough snarl leaving her throat. 

“Why can’t I just be happy?!” she yelled at herself, tugging harder at her hair. “Be happy, be happy, be happy!” She was scolding herself. 

Knees buckling, the gem cried. This was now the third night in a row. The tears overflowing and slipping down her face. A small drip echoed in the small room. It was her tears, splashing against the white tile. 

Her crying became less erratic over the span of a few minutes.  _ Why does her head pound every time she sobs into her palms? _ It now almost hurts to let out waterfalls of tears. 

Slowing her breathing, she was now able to hear the light knocking on the bathroom door. An audible gasp left Spinel’s lips as she tried to wipe away the wetness on her cheeks. 

“Spinel?” It was Steven.  _ Oh _ , his voice was small and tired. Maybe it’s because it was nearing the morning and he should still be sleeping. “Are, um, you okay?” 

She let out a sniffle. 

“Can I come in?” He sounded worried and wary. 

Even though the door was open a crack, Steven minded Spinel’s privacy, just like he said he would. 

Spinel stood up, her legs feeling weak, and slowly pushed the door so it opened wider. Spinel was greeted with the sight of Steven in his large pajamas with his little pink flip flops. His curly hair was messy, but less messier than Spinel’s. His shoes made a slapping noise against the floor as he backed up a bit, holding the door with his hand. 

Spinel stayed sprawled on the cold floor, not bothering to move much or even look at him. 

“Did I wake you?” she asked, her voice sounding hoarse and guilty. 

Steven shook his head. “No, no.” He insisted, but it was probably a lie. 

Steven let out a tired sigh, opening the door all the way. It emitted a quiet creak.

Neither of them knew what to say. Steven couldn’t begin to comprehend how Spinel felt or what she’s going through. 

“Spinel…” Steven started. “Tell me what’s wrong.” 

_ Oh, what is wrong? Too many things. So many things. I can’t tell you everything that’s wrong!  _

“I just want to be happy.” Then the tears began to spill again. Spinel covered her eyes with her hands. Her voice sounded broken, like a stuttering record repeating itself over and over again.  _ Happy _ . That word sounded ancient. She knew happiness many, many years ago. But now? There was just a hole in her gem of where her happiness used to be. 

Steven’s eyes widened as wide as his tired state would allow him. No matter how bad the boy wanted to go to sleep, he would never leave his friend alone like this. 

He sat himself down beside the smaller gem and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. Immediately, Spinel’s gem filled with warmth and welcome and leaned into the embrace, all while sobbing so harshly she thought her gem would shatter. 

The pain was everywhere. She felt it everywhere. She  _ saw _ it everywhere. In Steven, in herself, in others. The pain just won’t go. 

“It hurts so much…” Spinel whimpered into Steven’s chest, her body spasming.

Steven understood what she meant. He continued to cradle her. 

“It’ll ease. It’ll get more bearable, I promise.” 

“When…?” She hugged herself tightly around Steven’s grip. 

He didn’t have an answer for that. 

Hesitantly, Steven kissed her forehead. The small affectionate action took Spinel by utter surprise and she froze. Though her tears continued to fall. 

“I… don’t know.” Both of their gems sank. “All I want is for you to be happy. You have friends, Spinel. You have me. People love you.” 

“They sure show it in a weird way,” Spinel muttered. 

Steven looked away in shame. “I’m sorry about them. But give it a while. They’ll come around. I know they will.” He rubbed her back soothingly. Nobody had ever been this close and loving to her. Nobody had ever given her this type of attention she didn’t know that she craved. 

Every word that flowed from Steven’s tongue was truth, Spinel knew. 

Everything would get better. 

Eventually. 

She just needed a friend to guide her along her journey. And Steven seemed like the perfect candidate. 

**Author's Note:**

> before the movie I thought her name was pronounced “spine-l” im dummy clown 🤡


End file.
